On this week’s episode of Because Nerd, Clint’s status as a martial artist comes into question, and the answer may surprise you! And another thing, does Galactus poop? Like really?? He eats whole planets and shit, so doesn’t he eventually have to take some massive dumps?! We explore. Then we sit down for another heartwarming edition of Storytime with Brad, where he tells us a silly story about a guy who fell off a helicopter but got caught up hanging from his nut sack! Oh man, it is a barrel of laughs on this acclaimed episode of Because Nerd!!
Archive: Archives: Episode
Vorpal Botch (Because Nerd Bits #11)
This week on Because Nerd Bits:
He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree
And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One… OH FUCK!!! I BOTCHED MY ROLL! I ROLLED A One! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
It left me dead, and without my head
As it went galumphing down my back.
– Excerpt from Jabberwocky by LEWIS CARROLL
Sh*tty Xmen: Great Lakes Avengers (Because Nerd #35)
This week on Because Nerd, we are once again giving the reigns over to Logan so he can navigate us through another comedically enlightening episode of Shitty Xmen. This week’s topic: The Great Lakes Avengers… or is it The Great Lakes Xmen?.. or maybe it’s The Great Lakes Champions?? Who fucking knows??? Well, WE DO! And you will know too after you have listened to this amazing world-altering episode of Because Nerd!!!
Storytime with Brad: Korean Bathhouse (Because Nerd Bits #10)
This week, Because Nerd gets a visit from their old friend Brad. And Brad sits everyone down for a nice little tale about a time when he found himself cock-holster deep inside of a Korean bathhouse with the enemy literally right on his ass! Sit down and shut the fuck up, kids! It’s time for some Because Nerd Bits!!!
Case of the Stolen Volleyball Scholarship: Saturday Morning Villains (Because Nerd #34)
This week on Because Nerd, we’re taking a look at the sinister side of Saturday Morning Cartoons, those doers of dastardly deeds, the maniacal meddlers of mayhem, the “The Bad Guys”!! Where did it all go wrong? How did they come to this life?? And when you really think about it, are they actually even bad guys at all??? I mean, when Cobra Commander loses his volleyball scholarship so that COL Hawk can start his pet project of GI Joe, then just what else is Cobra Commander supposed to do other than go start an international terrorist organization?!?! I mean, COME ON!! So, this is your last warning, cause it’s about to get real nerdy in here!!
Poor Batman (Because Nerd Bits #9)
Clint doesn’t just hate Batman, he REALLY HATES BATMAN!!! And on this week’s episode of Because Nerd Bits, we explore that hatred for Batman from a number of different angles!
What are his powers?: Bishop (Because Nerd #33)
On this week’s exciting episode of Because Nerd, we explore Nerd Mike’s absolute lack of understanding of Transformers culture, and then we discuss, when it comes to Thor and his hammer, what exactly is “worthiness” (the answer may surprise you). And then in a new edition of Shitty Xmen, he’s come from the future to save to past… or did he?? Who exactly is Xman Bishop? Where is he from, and why is he here? And what the hell are his powers? We delve into all of that and more in this week’s episode of Because Nerd!
Killing Batman: Hindsight Lad (Because Nerd Bits #8)
Who is Hindsight Lad? What are his powers? How did he manage to make Batman into a devoted Lad Boy? You’re going to have to listen to this episode of Because Nerd Bits to find out!!
Killing Batman: Calendar Man (Because Nerd #32)
This week on Because Nerd, we’re talking Killing Batman! It’s a classic Batman villain here with some classic Because Nerd style, Calendar Man!! It’s the same nerd time, on the same nerd channel, Because Nerd!!
Superhero Collateral Damage (Because Nerd Bits #7)
Are Superheroes more trouble than they worth?? Do they break more things than they save? What if you need to take legal action against a superhero, who should you contact? Let’s get to the bottom of all those questions and much more on this informative episode of Because Nerd Bits!!
GI Joe Vehicles (Because Nerd #31)
This week on Because Nerd, we are taking a look at just what the heck is up with GI Joe vehicle designs?? Got a lawnmower… put a flamethrower on it! Got a porta-john… how about adding wheels and spray hose!! Seriously, who is coming up with these and who is giving them the greenlight?? It’s time to get to the bottom of these burning questions on this episode of Because Nerd!!!
Killing Batman: The Answer (Because Nerd Bits #6)
On this week’s episode of Because Nerd Bits, we are re-exploring an absolutely classic Killing Batman about a wacky Marvel character called The Answer! His powers are stupid. His costume is stupid, but what about his plan to kill Batman?? Find out how stupid his plan to kill Batman is on this outstanding episode of Because Nerd Bits!!
Best Marvel Unpowered Hand to Hand Fighter (Because Nerd #30)
When it comes right down to brass tax and brass knuckles, who actually is the the best unpowered hand to hand fighter in the Marvel Universe? We will explore this question on this week’s episode of Because Nerd (and the outcome may surprise you)! Now it’s time! Activate Nerdiness!!!
Star Wars OSHA (Because Nerd Bits #5)
Why is Star Wars’ track record for health and safety so dang bad? We analyze it Nerd Style on this week’s episode of Because Nerd Bits!!
NERD QUIZ!!! (Because Nerd #29)
Well, the Because Nerd crew just realized that we haven’t renewed out Nerd Cards in quite some time. So we didn’t have much of a choice, it’s time for a NERD QUIZ!!! Tess has put together a banger of a test to evaluate our nerd muscles and make sure that we’ve still all got what it takes to be a Nerd! We answer scrutinizing questions about movies, comics, books, games, and more in this probing audit of our nerd cred on this week’s inquisitive episode of Because Nerd!
Wizard Poop: Harry Potter (Because Nerd Bits #4)
Did you know that Hogwarts didn’t always have bathrooms. It’s true, but wait..? Then where did the wizards poop?? Let’s flush this out on this week’s episode of Because Nerd Bits!!
Peace was never an option: Peacemaker (Because Nerd #28)
Most men want peace, but there is one man who wants it so bad that he’ll kill as many people as it takes to get it. That’s right, we are discussing Peacemaker and his never ending hunt for peace on this week’s episode of Because Nerd!
Sh*tty X-men: Dazzler (Because Nerd Bits #3)
Why does Dazzler suck? And what happened to her in her later years?? Discover all that and more in this outstanding episode of Because Nerd Bits!!!
Killing Batman: Skateman (Because Nerd Bits #2)
Who is Skateman and what is his plan for killing Batman?? Find out in this absolutely classic episode of Because Nerd Bits!!!
Star Wars Witness Protection: Obi Wan (Because Nerd Bits #1)
What sort of witness protection agency does Star Wars have? Let’s find out on this inaugural episode of Because Nerd Bits!!!
I didn’t expect that: Hindsight Lad & Angel (Because Nerd #27)
You guys have been really good lately, and we have definitely noticed (that’s right, we’re watching you). And you deserve something really good in return, so we have just the thing. It’s time for some classic Because Nerd content! Today we’re starting out by looking at Hindsight Lad, the most obnoxious costumed vigilante to have ever graced the comic book page, and his maniacal plan for how to kill Batman! Then we take a hard look at the X-men Angel and analyze the extent of his power. For instance, could Angel beat a baby in a fight?? The answer may surprise you!! Learn about all this and much more in this absolutely amazing episode of Because Nerd!!!
Fame Adjacent: Eddie McClintock (Because Nerd #26)
Welcome back to Because Nerd! Today we sit down with a special guest, Eddie McClintock, and he tells us all about his youth being a roadie for huge rock bands, how he got his gig as the lead star for Warehouse 13, and some other notable stories he’s experienced along the way! Then, after all that, Eddie joins the Because Nerd crew for a Super Beat Off between Wolverine and Squirrel Girl (and somehow the Devil also ends up getting thrown into the mix), so you definitely do not want to miss this one! Please have your nerd badges out and ready, they will be throughly inspected prior to entry being permitted.
What if Superman was an evil little prick: Brightburn (Because Nerd #25)
EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!
Baby alien from a distant solar system crash lands on earth!
Loving midwestern couple struggling to have a child decide to raise him as their own!
And though he appears perfectly human, it turns out that actually he possesses extraordinary superpowers!
Who is this mysterious super-person?? “Superman” you think, well no, you dummy! Turns out you’re wrong again! Because today we’re talking about the superpowered sociopath (and evil version of a young Superman) Brightburn! So grab a clean pair of underwear and put them on over your pants, because the rays of the yellow sun have revealed our true nerd powers on this episode of Because Nerd!
A Mighty Robot: Voltron (Because Nerd #24)
On this episode of Because Nerd, we’re talking about a mighty robot who is loved by Good and feared by Evil! That’s right! We’re talking about the Legendary Defender, Voltron!!! And we’re asking the question, “Why does Voltron have an Interlock, anyway??” Like seriously, did someone get a DUI while driving Voltron?! But first, we kick things off with a discussion about ofter notable Mechs that hold a sweet spot in hearts. So, Activate Interlocks and connect Dynotherms because it’s time to form Because Nerd!!!
I’m never gonna call you: Intro Tess (Because Nerd #23)
Hey there, you. We don’t talk enough anymore. You know what I mean?? We should change that. In fact, here, we just finished a new episode of Because Nerd! You should totally check it out! In it, we take time to ponder the merits of Mac-n-Cheese ice cream, like, “are there any merits to Mac-n-Cheese ice cream?”. We also spend time remembering the 90s cartoon show, Pirates of Dark Water and its disappointing inability to finish. We even ring the bell on a Super BeatOff that goes down between The Bionic $6 Million Man vs the Invisible Secret Agent: Gemini Man. I just can’t tell you how happy I am that we’re talking together again, and I’m soooo glad that we’re reconnecting you to Because Nerd!!
Killing Batman: The Answer (Because Nerd #22)
This week on Because Nerd, listeners requested and we answered… about The Answer! After we mentioned him for a moment in BN#18 about Ruby Thursday, we were inundated with requests to explain just who The Answer is and what the hell is the question!! Well you asked, and we answered! So just who is The Answer, what are his powers, and can he kill Batman?? There is only one way to get the answer, and that is to listen to this amazing episode of Because Nerd!!
Super Beat Off: JLA v The Seven (Because Nerd #21)
This week on Because Nerd, the Beating Off continues! In one corner, we have the Justice league of America! And in the other corner, we have The Seven! We separate each team’s members into tiers and get to the bottom of just who will be the ultimate Beat Off champions! Is Batman craftier than Black Noir? Who is faster, A Train or The Flash? Who has more serious mommy issues, Superman or Homelander? Take a seat and let the Sea Monarch tell you a tale who will get off and who will go down in this hyper charged episode of Because Nerd!
Super Beat Off: JLA v Boys (Because Nerd #20)
In this 1st episode of a two-parter Because Nerd, things start out with the delirium of pandemic isolation setting in causing the Nerds to fantasize about what if Dog the Bounty Hunter and Steven Seagal teamed up for the ultimate reality TV show! Then, Mike sets the stage for an epic Super Beat Off! This time it’s the Justice League of America vs The Seven from The Boys! Yes, the JLA may have god-like power, but is that enough to deal with the absolute depravity that The Seven are capable of? And also, what exactly does the Sea Monarch have to do with all of this? There is only one way find out, and that is to listen to this action packed episode of Because Nerd!
The Pantyhoser: Lynne Griffin (Because Nerd #19)
This week on Because Nerd we have a very special treat for you! Two of the Nerds, Ckrysze and Mike, sit down for a very lovely interview with the extremely talented actress, Lynne Griffin. She tells us all about her time during the filming of the cult classics Strange Brew, Black Christmas, and plenty of other experiences she’s had along the way! You won’t find many others with such charm and charisma as Lynne, so you might as well kick back, relax, and get cozy with some very delightful Because Nerd!
Killing Batman: Ruby Thursday (Because Nerd #18)
It is that time again, and Because Nerd is here to deliver! This week the Nerds take a deep dive into the confusingly sexy character of Ruby Thursday and ask the proverbial question, “Can she kill Batman?” We also take a detour to the left side of the highway to uncover just how the Wayne family made all of their millions (or is it billions??). There is also a brief discussion about how well of a restaurant greeter Bull’s Eye would have been, and we explore what sort of bullshit Alfred has had to put up with for all these years (it’s a lot)! Smoke’em if you got’em, cause it’s time for Because Nerd!
Rainbow Party: Umbrella Academy (Because Nerd #17)
This week on Because Nerd, the Nerds delve deep into the inner workings of the Umbrella Academy! Season 2 in on the horizon, and we give the utmost thorough review of Season 1! Does Luther suck or not?! Is Diego better at targeting than Hawkeye?! Did #5 fuck up the time travel equations intentionally?? Find out, on this week’s action packed episode of Because Nerd!!!
You don’t look well: Marvel Zombies (Because Nerd #16)
ZOMBIES! with SUPER POWERS!!! Hank Pim chews on Tchala for years, Wasp is just a head, the Avengers dine on Galactus like an all you can eat buffet! WHAT IS GOING ON?! The Nerds aim to get to the bottom of it!
Bonus: The Nerds unravel what’s up with nuisance of New York City, Spiderman. Just take your webs and GO!!!
Does whatever a spider can
Spins a web, any size
Catches you right in the eyes
Here comes the Spider-Man
Is he strong? Listen up
His webs will fuck you up
He can swing, from a thread
And attach one to your head
Watch out! There goes the Spider-Man
Oh shit! Here comes the Spider-Man!
What if your friends were assholes: Robert Bevan (Because Nerd #15)
This week Because Nerd sits down with Robert Bevan, the author of the Critical Failures series! He tells us all about the perils of finding a DnD group in Korea, how he channels his inner asshole to write his characters, and he adamantly disagrees with Clint’s characterization of good guys and bad guys! Then, Clint takes us on another action filled thrill ride for Killing Batman! Let’s just say, don’t do drugs kids! So get ready, and smoke’em if you got’em, cause it’s time for Because Nerd!!!
Cursed Swamp Box: Jay Fotos (Because Nerd #14)
Oh boy! This week the Nerds talk with famed comic book artist Jay Fotos (it’s pronounced FODOS!), and he has a list of accomplishments as long as our nerd-sticks. From Spawn and TMNT to GODZILLA and Transformers, he’s done it all. Jay gives us rundown on his new Kickstarter for the graphic novel Rising Rebels, an 80s VHS-horror themed thrill ride about the ghoulishly resurrected Colonel Knox and his hunt for blood! In addition to all that, we learn about how Clint’s distain for Batman once scared Jay when they first met and also question whether or not tortuous fecal matter may be the mystery ingredient in the Kickstarter?? So many question, but we have the answer sheet, right here on Because Nerd!
Go Back to Bed: Tiger King (Because Nerd #13)
This week on Because Nerd we discuss life under quarantine and our ridiculous tendencies to hoard. Logan laments the lack of barber shops, and Clint nearly loses it and almost goes full MacGyver over a lack of toilet paper! Then Clint tells us about his crush on Joe Exotic and about how CoronaVirus is all really just the fault of Carole Baskin! Finally, we discuss what is the best pandemic movie, except that we get cut short and don’t really discuss that, so hold tight!!! This clearly is going to be a high speed episode of Because Nerd!!!
Draw More & Finish: Christopher Burdett (Because Nerd #12)
This week Because Nerd sits down with fantasy artist Christopher Burdett as we discuss his long and storied art career. Chris begins by taking us on an exploration of his newest creation, The Grand Bazaar of Ethra VanDalia, which is a surreal world of monstrous civilizations that manage to coexist with each other through trade and commerce. Then we go back in time to discuss Chris’ journey through his career and how he made it to this point. And finally, we share stories of our most epic D&D characters and the epicness they have accomplished. It’s that time, and you know what you’ve got to do!
Obsession for Men: Green Arrow’s Chili & The Haunted Tank (Because Nerd #11)
Because Nerd is doing it again! This week the Nerds put on their food critic hats and take a heaping helping of Green Arrow’s chili, a.k.a. THE HOTTEST CHILI IN THE DC UNIVERSE! We probe deep within Superman’s super gastrointestinal system to explore just how sensitive is his super sense of taste?! We then ask what’s up with Joaquin Phoenix’s name being so damn hard to say and discuss why OJ Simpson couldn’t quite cut it as a Terminator. Finally Clint takes us on a fantastic thrill ride in the Haunted Tank, in another laugh out loud installment of Killing Batman! It’s time to do it nerdy-style with Because Nerd!
The Good and the Magic: Vampire vs Werewolves & Skeletor (Because Nerd #10)
Because Nerd is back and better than ever! This week we start things off with our newest nerd, Brad, telling us about how Rambo, Last Blood has taken things to the next level! Then we ask the age old question, if Mike Tyson was going to beat you senseless, would you really care if he did it while wearing pink boxing gloves? After that, nerd-Mike reads to us from his journal about finally finishing watching Stranger Things 3. We then all have a good old Master Debate to decide, if you had to be bitten and turned into either a vampire or werewolf, which one would you rather it be? And finally Clint takes us all on a tour through a day in the life of one of the 80’s most badass baddies, Skeletor! Put your pants on and then take them back off! Cause it’s time for Because Nerd!
Harry Pooper & the Chamber Pot of Secrets: Thundarr & Multiple Man (Because Nerd #9)
Prepare yourself for Because Nerd’s 9th episode!!! This is by far the best one yet, and this episode is notably funny for how stupid it is! In this episode we explore what life was like at Hogwarts prior to their addition of a sewage system and why Professor Albus Dumbledore was so hesitant to install one! Then we take some time to appreciate the majestic post apocalyptic waste land that was Thundarr the Barbarian, and we question the interpersonal dynamics of Thundarr’s, Ookla’s, and Arial’s relationship! Finally Logan joins us once again to discuss the Shitty X-men, Multiple Man and just how annoying being around him would be! Grab a cold on, light one up, and strap yourself in! Because it is time to get your nerd on!!!
Stick it in your Endgame: Avengers – No Spoilers (Because Nerd #8)
Welcome to Because Nerd’s 8th episode! This one is all about the Avengers and asking important questions like what if Dr. Strange was into glory-holes, is Hulk a nymphomaniac, and why won’t Tony let anyone else use one of his Ironman suits? We ponder whether Nick Fury and Hawkeye are actually secret Scrulls in disguise, and we consider the possibility that Thanos is really just acting out over a childhood trauma of being nicknamed The Anus! The Nerds are all assembled (except Logon, who plays the part of Hawkeye and is absent for this episode)! You definitely do not want to miss this episode!!!
Do you need assistance?!: Erik Stolhanske (Because Nerd #7)
Welcome to Because Nerd’s 7th episode, and the beginning of our 2nd Season! We are kicking off this new season with an especially nice treat… an interview with the syrup chuggin’, bear-fuckin’ Super Trooper, Rabbit, a.k.a., Erik Stolhanske! We probe deep within him to find out what effect maple syrup had on his bowels, does his Super Trooper fame give him a “get out of jail free” card, how strong is Willie Nelson’s weed, and what are the chances that the world will see Super Troopers 3? We also discuss the crowd-funding victory that Broken Lizard had making Super Troopers 2 and what sort of reception it received in Canada! Then we talk Game of Thrones with Erik, and he gives us his prediction of how it’s all gonna go down! It’s an open bar, dude! You won’t want to miss these shenanigans!!!
Enter the Cyclops Verse: Season 1 Finale (Because Nerd #6)
Welcome to the Because Nerd Season 1 Finale! Yes, it was one whole year ago that three old friends (+1 more that joined along the way) sat down together to discuss comics and pop culture while trying to fit as many dick and fart jokes into one hour of listening as humanly possible! In this action packed season finale, Chris tells us about his harrowing experience of having to test his might in a showdown with an aggressive pit bull, we explore what happens when a Vorpal Sword meets a critical fail, and we ask that age old question, “Is the White Power Ranger racist?” Then we discuss the awesome 1990s comic book “Batman Vs Predator” and go on to discuss whom else we’d like to see the Predator go up against and how it would all go down (Tom Cruise’s Mom does better than you’d think)! Finally, we are once again joined by Professor Logan for another edition of Shitty X-Men where we explore the reasons that Cyclops is such a dick! Saddle up!!! Cause it’s Because Nerd time!
Don’t be Negative: Porn or Comics & Mandy (Because Nerd #5)
Welcome to another episode of Because Nerd! In this episode, we talk about some of the perils of domestic life with the Flintstones and the Jetsons, then we discuss whether the Moon Landing was actually fake or not (spoiler alert: It wasn’t fake!), and then we explore the mind altering powers of Ayahuasca Master and how no one wins when they fight him! Then we take a moment to pay a most respectable tribute to the memory of Burt Reynolds, and after that we play a round of our newest trivia game “Porn or Comics”! Lastly, Clint and Logan walk us through a spoiler-free review of the drug fueled adventure that is the movie Mandy! Get ready to get your freak on with Because Nerd!
Hit the Killswitch: Intro Mike (Because Nerd #4)
Welcome to Because Nerd’s 4th episode! Today we introduce a new nerd, Mike, and probe deep into his inner most nerdom! We talk about the amazing comic book series, The Boys. We debate whether we would rather have the superpower of Flight or Invisibility, as well as ask what other superpowers are simply more trouble than they are worth. We discuss why life on the Enterprise would be the absolute best and talk about which tropes most grinds Mike’s gear. Then we wrap up our conversation by exploring the burgeoning world of sex robots and their inevitable evolution into Terminator killing machines! This one’s a wild ride so buckle up, hit play, and enjoy the trip! You definitely don’t want to pass this one up!
You Drink Too Much (Because Nerd #3)
Welcome to Because Nerd’s third episode! Today we discuss all the shenanigans that Chris got into at Pensacon, like meeting some of the Broken Lizard team, late night drinking with Seth Gilliam and Dana DeLorenzo, being challenged by Cell from DBZ, and asking the designer of the Death Star about his crowning achievement (and it’s not what you think it’s gonna be)! On top of that, we talk about Logan’s psychomedical superabilities and the mysteries that lie within the movie Annihilation. Then, in Shitty X-Men, we discuss how Cannonball’s superpower is fueled by Jagermeister and Bacardi 151, and in Killing Batman, Clint explains how Ulysses Solomon Archer (US1) seduces Batman into a deadly trap! This is an action packed episode filled with intrigue and a butt-load of laughs! You definitely do not want to miss it!!!
The Last Apology (Because Nerd #2)
Welcome to Because Nerd’s second episode! This is by far our funniest episode yet! Today we discuss the origins of Casey Jones in TMNT, why Liam Neeson’s name is so hard to pronounce, what happened to all the energy in Cloverfield Paradox , if anyone will be handing out Z-jobs in Super Troopers 2, and much more. We also ponder what the hell Shockwave was doing with all his alone time on Cybertron. Then, in Shitty X-men, we talk about the later years of Dazzler’s music career, and finally, in Killing Batman, we pit Batman against the most tragic Superhero ever, Shadow Hawk!
WARNING: This episode has been known to induce uncontrollable, hysterical laughter! Listen at your own risk!!!
The Final Countdown (Because Nerd #1)
Welcome to Because Nerd’s pilot episode! Today we talk about whether or not Star Wars: TLJ should be removed from canon, if Fairy lives do actually matter, the dangers of being cock-blocked in Future Man, and what if Quintin Tarantino directed Star Trek in conjunction with Robert Rodriguez. Then Clint and Logan choose which superpower they want and debate which of them would subsequently win in a fight. And we introduce two new segments: Shitty X-Men and Killing Batman! Prepare to be nerded on!